Poop: A Public Service Announcement

Please wash your hands after using the bathroom.

This is something your mother should have taught you years ago, but just in case, I'll say it again:  Please wash your hands.

Why?

1.  Bathrooms contain toilets.
2.  Toilets contain poop.
3.  Therefore, bathrooms contain poop.
4.  You'd wash your hands quite thoroughly with a lot of hot water and soap if you touched poop, wouldn't you???

But I didn't touch any poop when I was in the bathroom, you might say.  WRONG!  Poop is everywhere in the bathroom!  It's invisible, but it's there.  Every time someone does a Number Two, vaporized microscopic poop fills the air and scatters forming a Poop Envelope.

Schematics of The Poop Envelope

The radius of the Poop Envelope can put a lot of things in danger.  For some, constant vigilance is necessary to prevent invasion:

Others have resigned themselves to their existentialist lot in life:

 And finally there are always those who just embrace their fate:

Regardless, these bathroom items all agree on one thing:  poop is everywhere.  The best thing you can do is take appropriate precautions.  So please wash your hands after using the bathroom.

Thank you.  Now we can be friends.

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