The Family That Eats One Hot Dog Together...

... stays together.

Overheard in the family minivan yesterday:

ME: How much longer until we reach the restaurant?
BIG BROTHER: At least 30 minutes. We need to go to Costco first and get gas.
ME: THIRTY MINUTES? I'll die first. What am I going to do for the thirty minutes?
LITTLE BROTHER: Maybe we should get a Costco hot dog.
BIG BROTHER: I was going to get a Diet Coke anyway because I'm thirsty. We can get the hot dog and soda deal for $1.50.
MOM: But there are five of us. Should we get more?
ME: No, it will spoil our dinner. We just need something to get through. Let's just get the one hot dog and everybody can get one bite.
BIG BROTHER: Little Brother, you get the hot dog when I'm getting the gas.
LITTLE BROTHER: What does everybody want on the hot dog.
BIG BROTHER: Mustard - make sure you get DELI mustard- and sauerkraut. You have to ask for the sauerkraut separately.
LITTLE BROTHER: Mustard? I don't like mustard. And I don't like sauerkraut either. I like onions.
BIG BROTHER: I don't want onions. Deli mustard and sauerkraut.
ME: Just figure out what everybody wants and start from one end and build up the condiments.
LITTLE BROTHER: What does everybody else want? Dad, what do you want?
DAD: You know me, it doesn't matter.
ME: Yeah, Dad will eat anything. Just figure out what Mom wants too. I want ketchup and sauerkraut.
LITTLE BROTHER: Mom, what do you want?
MOM: The little green things.
LITTLE BROTHER: Do you mean sauerkraut?
ME: I think she means relish.
MOM: It's kind of sweet and sour. The little green things.
LITTLE BROTHER: How about sauerkraut?
MOM: What is sauerkraut?
ME: It's like relish.
MOM: Mustard too. I like mustard.
BIG BROTHER: Make sure you get DELI mustard.
LITTLE BROTHER: How am I going to do this?
ME: Just start from one end and get deli mustard and sauerkraut. And then add relish. I don't want any relish. Can I just have ketchup and sauerkraut?
MOM: I don't like the little white strips. What are those? And I don't like onions.
ME: She doesn't want sauerkraut.
LITTLE BROTHER: Dad, what do you want?
DAD: Anything.
ME: I told you! Dad doesn't care. He'll eat whatever is on it.
MOM: I don't like the onions. I like the little green things.
LITTLE BROTHER: I can't fit this all on one hot dog! Dad, what do you want?
DAD: I'm easy. I don't care.
MOM: One hot dog for five people - too hard. We should get at least two.
ME: I don't want a lot of hot dog. I just need something to hold me over until dinner.
LITTLE BROTHER: Two hot dogs would be hard to split five ways.
ME: What are you talking about - just split one of them three ways and the other in half. Don't try to split them evenly!
LITTLE BROTHER: I guess I can do that.
ME: I'll volunteer for one of the thirds.
MOM: Me too. But I don't like the little thin white strips.
ME: Don't give her sauerkraut. She doesn't want the sauerkraut.
LITTLE BROTHER: OK, what is it that everybody wants on the hot dog again?
ME: This is TOO COMPLICATED! Never mind. I'll just skip the hot dog.
MOM: I will skip too. The ladies in the car will skip hot dog. You three eat it.

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nuevo huevo ranchero

It was around 3pm, the afternoon after a Family Breakfast of breakfast burritos. Leftovers included a small amount of peppers and onions, pico de gallo, and a bit of grated cheddar. I wasn't exactly in the mood for a repeat of breakfast, so I sauteed the pico de gallo, re-chopped the sauteed peppers and onions, fried some scallions, and added shredded potatoes. After allowing the potatoes to crisp, I threw in a tortilla to warm up. Also cleared a spot in the potatoes to crack in my last emergency egg. Realizing that all of the ingredients would not fit in a burrito and not in a taco (which was the technique I had to use this morning), I decided to pile it all on the tortilla as a carrier, allowed the cheddar to melt slightly and topped it all off with the fried egg, a few squirts of ketchup. Salsa at this point would be too complicated.



No corona in sight, so I cracked open a Mike's hard lemonade. A glass of water might not be able to handle this Sunday supper.

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