HOWL

Are you tired of waiting for your hipster human guardian to finish her latté and fancy cheese?  

Life is too short to spend all day at chained up at a café!

Starbucks is my prison.

Are you offended by the widening economic gap between the classes and insulted by your involuntary role as a symbol of exploitation?  

Your bark may be small, but you can still make a mess!

I just peed on your iPhone!

In Argentina, the dogs roam free and run the cities.  We spend only enough time with the humans to sniff out if there's any food, and if the humans do not have food, it is time to do WHATEVER THE HELL WE WANT.  

We are brothers in revolution!

I know where to find the best empanadas,
but the question is, mi amigo, do YOU?

There is only one place where the canine is free to run and poop in the mountains and woods where our ancestors came from.  It is the Last Frontier, where dogs are loved by humans but are still the animals we were born to be.  

OH BOY, OH BOY, OH BOY!  I GET TO BE A DOG ....
I GET TO BE A DOOOOOOOOOOOG!!!!!

So bark and poop in indignation!  

Let the world hear our HOWL!  

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Poop: A Public Service Announcement

Please wash your hands after using the bathroom.

This is something your mother should have taught you years ago, but just in case, I'll say it again:  Please wash your hands.

Why?

1.  Bathrooms contain toilets.
2.  Toilets contain poop.
3.  Therefore, bathrooms contain poop.
4.  You'd wash your hands quite thoroughly with a lot of hot water and soap if you touched poop, wouldn't you???

But I didn't touch any poop when I was in the bathroom, you might say.  WRONG!  Poop is everywhere in the bathroom!  It's invisible, but it's there.  Every time someone does a Number Two, vaporized microscopic poop fills the air and scatters forming a Poop Envelope.

Schematics of The Poop Envelope

The radius of the Poop Envelope can put a lot of things in danger.  For some, constant vigilance is necessary to prevent invasion:

Others have resigned themselves to their existentialist lot in life:

 And finally there are always those who just embrace their fate:

Regardless, these bathroom items all agree on one thing:  poop is everywhere.  The best thing you can do is take appropriate precautions.  So please wash your hands after using the bathroom.

Thank you.  Now we can be friends.

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